The Sexuality Temptation, Stabilizing Hormones and the Skull

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and men use love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles interpret good sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these songs, making love carries tremendous significance and repercussions.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will ready too).

B.more frequently, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the chance to make love with someone we are drawn in to incredibly tough to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and page uncontrolled , leading to powerful sensations of destination, enjoyment, wellness, love, and closeness .

When problems arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is great!" They more than likely wouldn't admit it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, says that numerous of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys especially in cities, sex is readily offered, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, encourages sexual activity. Numerous gay men wish to learn from the starting if a prospective partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".

Nevertheless, North adds, "I believe this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to directory explain that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a given that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though in some cases Source it can grow in time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication subsides and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with good sense. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying full focus on your vision, requirements, worths, and objectives -- while feeling all those interesting sparks!

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