The Sexuality Pitfall, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and guys utilize love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs translate excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these singles, having sex carries tremendous significance and consequences.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more commonly, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other individual may be a match on levels besides physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), that makes the opportunity to make love with someone we are brought in to extremely tough to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), makings us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , leading to effective feelings of attraction, enjoyment, well-being, closeness, and love .

When problems develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is fantastic!" They probably wouldn't admit it, however they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay guys, states that much of his clients have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men specifically in city areas, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical look, motivates sex. If a prospective partner is going to be sexually compatible, numerous gay men want to discover out from the starting. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

Nevertheless, North the original source adds, "I believe this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a provided that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow over time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears away and reality hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This implies integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is crucial for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your see here partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, goals, values, and requirements -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

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